Have I ever faked it? I have, but I intended to reach my objective - not mislead anyone. After all, "Fake it until you make it" is what many taught. I remember working with a community that required me to be knowledgeable in various scenarios, details, and specifications. Frequently, the trainer or instructor would stand in front of a group of trainees (insert me here) and say, "don't worry if you don't feel confident, fake it until you make it." The problem was that I never felt as though I had made it. Sure, I did a good job faking it, but there was still such a lack of confidence I was dealing with, and as much as I faked it, those close to me could see it.
Why are people still preaching this message? By preaching "fake it until you make it," we may be promoting Impostor Syndrome.
To put it simply, imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony—you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud—like you don't belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck. It can affect anyone no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise.
I think the idea of "fake it until you make it" and the statement itself are in two different area codes. I think the idea behind this term was to say even if you don't feel confident in your abilities, at least trust the information provided, yet the word fake is the issue. By encouraging people to "fake it," you ask them to be phonies and act as though they can go the extra mile that confidence enables them to be able to go.
Eventually, the individual who "fakes it" will be spotted. I can tell you that my peers spotted me out. When it was time to take action, I was the one shaking in my boots; it is as far as faking it had taken me. Those intense moments where hypothesizing on what one could do was challenged, I would fail, and they would pass with flying colors.
Don't get me wrong; I had some people fooled. But the person that tries to "fake it until they make it" will eventually be spotted out. And I was spotted out! My peers spotted my lack of confidence time and time again.
"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time." (Abraham Lincoln)
Now here's the thing: I was skeptical about who knew what! Who could I ask for help if we had all been taught to fake it?
It is impossible to counterfeit confidence. You can possess a level of confidence in the material learned. Still, if you don't blend that with confidence in your abilities, you will not produce. I disagree with the notion of "fake it until you make it" because how can trust be created if everyone is faking it? I don't believe in "faking it until you make it" because it prevents you from growing. This statement bothers me because if we want to be honest with ourselves and truly genuine, fostering imposter syndrome does not seem like an intelligent way to go about it.
When I saw my peers consistently go above and beyond the call of duty and do so without hesitation, I knew I was in the company of individuals who had not bought into this message. The sign of a person who has confidence is visible in their actions, not just in their words. And those actions will take them beyond the perceived line of duty. Those fearful of going beyond the line are likely due to fear of being spotted for a phony. It is the danger of buying into this message of "fake it until you make it." But what's the alternative?
Go and Grow.
Growth does not occur by standing on the sidelines; it happens when you go! When you move and begin putting the skills you've learned into practice. You don't get good at something by just theorizing; you have to take action; it is at that moment that you may put all of your ideas and lessons to the test and grow. None of this is a hoax; it's all part of the process.
The message of Jesus towards his disciples as he saw understood their concerns was:
"You believe in God. Believe in me also."
Notice he isn't telling them to "fake it" in their walk until they believe it, nor is he asking them to have blind faith. The reason he doesn't utter those words is that faith calls for a level of action. If we are timid to go and take action, this may not be a sign of lack of ability but more to do with a lack of faith in our abilities.
I've subsequently moved on and no longer work with that team. However, when I reflect, I am aware of their eagerness to assist me in gaining confidence. They realized that I didn't have the courage to accomplish what I respected them for, so they pushed me (sometimes sternly) and loved on me while I navigated that journey.
When we tell our team to "fake it until you make it," we aren't allowing them space to feel it is okay to ask questions, let alone trust who is giving the answers. I had to realize that "fake it until you make it" wasn't going to work, not there, not anywhere. If I want to grow, I must go. True growth requires courage.
Thank you, Swampers.
